Four Years

July 28th was the fourth anniversary of the day Onyx and I met face-to-face. On that day we had known each other online for eight or so months and were supposed to have met the week before but he had issues with his standby flight. I remember waiting anxiously for his taxi to reach my [...]

In the Year 2008

Yes, yes, a yearly review post is a little cliche, but it’s also nice for me to think about what has happened over the past year, and maybe nice for you to read about it and recall some of the things that made up my year. Some things feel like they were years ago, when [...]


I’ve been feeling off lately, disconnected, reserved. The majority of my thoughts are focused on Seattle, I feel like I’m forever waiting for something to happen, and not able to make something happen on it’s own. I didn’t realize how difficult it is to move somewhere once you settle in with another person. Moving here [...]

Happy Birthday

Today, the 16th of December, is Onyx’s birthday, he’s 33 today! This is our fourth birthday of his together, the first one we spent together in Ashland, Oregon and I made my oaxacan chocolate mocha cake and we watched Buffy, the last two we’ve been here in SLC. The bad news is that he damaged [...]


I wrote the following in response to Sinclair’s post defining identity alignment assumptions, basically “the assumption that one’s identity categories align with what is either a stereotype or a dominant compulsory cultural norm.” I ended up writing more than I thought I would, and I have more to add so I thought I’d just convert [...]

This Just In (HNT)

Click for the larger version. Here’s this week’s HNT, in just barely under the wire. This would be my “after” image, you can view my HNT of last week as the “before” image. I bought a red “natural” box dye, instead of my usual Blood Red and HI-Octane Orange Special Effects dyes, this natural red [...]

It's Difficult to Write about Sex

…when you’re not having it and not feeling sexy. You may have noticed I’ve taken some time off. Perhaps it wasn’t too noticeable, though, since I still posted a bit and it really hasn’t been that long since I last posted. However, the content of my posts lately has been a lot of me re-posting [...]

Relationships End and Other Fears

Everything I know about relationships means that Dominus’ and mine will never last. At some point we will find that we no longer fit together like we once did. Is it logic or fear that is telling me that? Sometimes I’m not sure. I don’t completely believe it, but I don’t not believe it. Part [...]

My First Public Play Experience

Master and I went to our second play party this weekend, our first was a couple weeks ago where we didn’t play, we just observed. Despite being into BDSM for many years, we’ve never gotten much into the actual community, and since we didn’t know people very well and we didn’t bring any of our [...]

The Hermit Peeks Out From Her Shell

Master and I went to a play party this weekend. It’s the first one either of us had ever actually been to, and hopefully it won’t be the last. Despite having explored BDSM for the last ten years or so I’ve never been anywhere that had an active community that I was a part of. [...]

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