A Guilty Pleasure: 50s and 60s (Sexist) Movies

Audrey Hepburn in Funny Face
I have a secret (or not so secret?) love of old 50s and 60s movies with Audrey Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe, Cary Grant, Fred Astaire, and so on. As much as I adore genderfucky practice there is something so lovely about watching Audrey Hepburn and Fred Astaire sing and dance in [...]

Keith Olbermann on Prop 8

Though I did write about the election, I have been meaning to talk about Proposition 8 in California. I attended the rally to protest the LDS church’s involvement in Prop 8 here in Salt Lake City last Friday, we met up by the LDS Temple and marched around it. I do believe that [...]

Yes We Did

Just 75 days and some odd hours until the current administration and the last eight years become a memory, and Barack Obama becomes the 44th President of the United States. I am overwhelmed.
I’m saddened that Proposition 8 does not seem to be doing too well in California. While not all of the results [...]


For those of you in the United States, the 4th is a huge day for us, not only because we are going to get the change we need (I hope), but also it may be the largest voter turnout in history they say, assuming people will actually wait in lines as long as they’re [...]

Bitch Needs Your Help

I remember reading my mom’s copies Bitch magazine years ago while I was still living at home. I began reading it at a point in my life where my feminist nature was already deeply ingrained in me, although I wasn’t consciously aware of it. I don’t remember the year, but I do remember [...]

Playing the 'Gender Card'

I haven’t posted too much that’s out-and-out politics on this site, though I do get political it is in a very specific way. The previous videos have been related to sexism in Hillary Clinton’s campaign or the way Obama and McCain view queer issues and this time the video is again about the gender [...]

Because That's What All Feminists Are Like

I’m going to add my definitions of femmeinist and fucktoy to the masthead shortly, and I pondering adding “femmeinist” to the Urban Dictionary, so, of course, I took a look at how feminist is defined in there.
At this point in my life I really should not have been surprised at the definitions which were posted, [...]

My Concept of Femmeinism

As you may have noticed, I’ve changed the title yet again, though this time a minor change from “feminist” to “femmeinist.” Now, the difference is subtle, but I believe there is a big difference. Traditionally feminism has tried to lead women to more androgynous looks, and has really frowned upon femininity as just [...]

Misogyny is like jazz: Women know it when they hear it

Despite the title of the blog (FEMINIST fucktoy) I have had relatively little posts regarding feminism directly. One could say that feminism and feminist theory (along with pomo, gender, queer, and sexuality theory) form the background of everything I post, and inform all of my ideas and insights. While this is true, sometimes [...]

Power in Submission

The essay for my Queer Theory class… hopefully it’s somewhat coherent, I’m not quite sure if it is.

A man and woman go out to dinner at a restaurant. The woman opens the door for the man to enter the establishment, she pulls out the chair for him before he sits down, and when the waiter comes to take their orders, she orders for the both of them. In this situation, who is submissive? Is it the man, is he being lead and treated as a subordinate by his mistress? Or is it the woman, is she an adept submissive who is serving her owner by taking care of his needs?
A man and woman are in their bedroom, the woman is on her knees and receives a slap to her cheek, then a hand in her hair, gripping it and pulling it back tight. She is spit on as her face is made to look upward, and then slapped again. The man sits on the bed and drags her with him, tugging her across his knee to give her a spanking, not satisfied until her ass is a bright shade of red. She is screaming and struggling, but despite being physically capable of freeing herself, she does not for fear of repercussions. Is this scenario depicting abuse, or simply play?
Both of these scenarios show potential ambiguity within power exchange relationships, but in very different ways. The first demonstrates the diversity of what power exchange relationships can look like, the second is a more shocking representation of what play can look like, and how to an outside observer, it could appear to be abuse. The point of both of these is to show the diversity and fragility of what could or could not be consensual power play activities. There is not just one way to experience or practice relationships of this type.
Often when subjects such as sadomasochism, or BDSM (Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/submission, and Sadism/masochism), are explored relationships which break social norms are analyzed, such as gay or lesbian BDSM relationships, or heterosexual relationships in which the normative power structure is reversed: the female is dominant, the male is submissive. The paring which on the surface goes along with societal norms is sometimes dismissed as patriarchal because the male partner is dominant while the female partner is submissive. Despite what seems like a patriarchal situation, male-dominant/female-submissive relationships are built on both parties having equal power over the relationship, though unequal roles in power exchange scenarios.

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