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So many things have been happening in the last week, and I don’t think I will have the time to write about them all individually even though I want to. Since I’ve been bogging you down with worrysome and insecure poly-related posts I’m going to start with an experience outside of the triad: last Friday, when Kyle and Coy Pink came to visit (though this is mostly about Kyle).
Back at the beginning of March Kyle drove up not too far to Seattle to meet us for the first time. He wrote about it here, I failed to write about it even though I had the intention to. I don’t remember why I didn’t write about it, I think I may have been experiencing mad writers block at the time or something, who knows, though his re-counting of the evening is pretty flawless so you should go over and read that first.
Then, Kyle decided to head up here last Friday. When we got together in March CoyPink was unable to make it as she had prior plans and I, like a dolt, had forgotten to ask her to come until a few hours before Kyle was supposed to show up. I’m good like that. Anyway, this time CoyPink was able to come, though not until a little after Kyle was going to arrive. No big deal, we were excited she could join us, though she ended up missing most of the night’s excitement! Not that what happened after she arrived wasn’t exciting, but there was no beating involved… but I’m getting ahead of myself.
Kyle has written about this visit as well, with far more detail to leading up to occurrences than I will probably give, so you should go over and read his post on last Friday, it’s pretty long, but I’ll be here when you get back. Go on. I’ll wait. Honest.
Did you read it? No? What are you waiting for? Seriously.
Well, if you read it you read it, if not you’re missing out. Anyway. Roxy (who, for those of you who don’t know is Kyle’s long-distance love) contacted me on twitter before he arrived and asked if I would be willing to give his package a squeeze and tell him it was from her. I responded that I would not mind doing so in the least, while trying to appear willing but not overly eager. Kyle is a great guy, but I don’t know him that well, so I was a little awkward and kept trying to think of ways to do it in a somewhat subtle manner, of course Roxy didn’t need it to be subtle.
She also informed me that he may be instructed to kneel at our door when first arriving, but didn’t know how evil she was going to be yet. I knew from that it would be a very interesting evening, but I figured Kyle would have to do a few somewhat embarrassing things at her request to begin with, and then we would all just do our thing. I didn’t expect any play or really anything to go beyond a few simple instructions to get a little redness in his cheeks. I was a little wrong.
Kyle ended up arriving late. He let me know he was going to be late beforehand, and I wasn’t surprised (from his tweets I thought he left later than ideal to be right on time, not to mention parking around our apartment is a bitch), though Roxy decided to use that as a reason for his first instruction. He was to ask to kiss our feet to make up for the offense of being late.
I wouldn’t deny him his ability to perform for his Love, so I offered him my bare feet to kiss, and took a couple pictures while he was doing so for him to send to Roxy. He did the same for Onyx, though he donned his boots for Kyle to kiss. When Kyle was done I walked over, slipped my arm around him, and squeezed his packy through his jeans informing him that he wasn’t the only one who Roxy had requested something from and that the squeeze was from Roxy. He seemed a little flustered, which was lovely, and I thought that would be the end of that.
I was putting the last touches on dinner and we all were chatting when she included further instruction, for him to ask us how to further make up being late. Onyx was far more comfortable requesting things at this point than I, as I could put myself more easily in Kyle’s shoes and was trying to figure out the balance between good embarrassing this very new friend of ours and what might be crossing the line. I overanalyze, we all know this by now.
Kyle offered to help serve dinner, Onyx agreed, and so Kyle went about fixing a plate for him and presenting it to him, which Onyx made him do over again with enthusiasm and excitement. I felt badly, as I’ve had to do the same in the past and it’s always really annoying.
We ate, and chatted, and again I thought that was going to be the end of it. Both Onyx and I had remarked to Roxy that Kyle was being very good and fulfilling his duties. I admit I was a bit hesitant, and still am, about commenting too much/too little and I think I ended up on the too little side. In addition to all this, I was also texting with Marla and I knew she was feeling excluded and alone, so I was trying to manage everything all at once which ended up in me being a little more distant perhaps in everything than I meant.
We were having seconds when the next instruction came, “please do offer your ass and beg for a spanking.” I was somewhat surprised, as was Kyle I think, though apparently Onyx wasn’t. Onyx informed Roxy of Kyle’s reaction to the instruction: groaning and tossing his phone on the floor!
Onyx decided that since I rarely get to get out my beating desires, as he is not into pain or me beating him at all, I should be the one to fulfill this instruction. I decided to finish my seconds and send a text to Marla regarding what was going to happen (which I found out later didn’t send) and so Kyle was instructed to kneel on the floor until he was needed.
I was thinking about the best way to do everything, and decided getting out my Liberator Ramp would be a great idea to position Kyle on. It pretty much doesn’t enable the bottom to drop their ass, and means I can get at all the good spots all the time, so I figured it would be a good idea. Onyx got the ramp, Kyle got positioned, and I pulled out most of my impact play toys.
From Kyle’s post: “At first it was kind of weird, I mean, we’ve only hung out once before and now my ass was in the air waiting to be beat. But Scarlet is very good and we got into our rhythm pretty quickly.” I agree, it was a little strange, but once we got into it I think we both had a really good time, as evidenced by the pictures that we took and the happy post-beating stupor that Kyle ended up being in. Kyle and Roxy have praised me multiple times on my beating technique, apparently Kyle has raved about it to her and promised to show it to her when next they meet, so I must not be too bad, right!?
I used just about all of my impact play toys, with the exception of the rose crop and the black rubber whip, you can see the implements below:
From L to R: Black Suede Flogger, Black Rubber Whip, Rose Crop, Cheetah Fur-Lined Paddle, Rabbit Fur and Leather Flogger, Bark and Bite Paddle, Small Red Acrylic Cane, Large Red Acrylic Cane, Wide-Tipped Riding Bat.
There are a lot of great pictures of the beating, but I think this one is my favorite of the ones Kyle posted:
I had a lot of fun, and I know Kyle, Roxy, and Onyx did too. It was a great experience that I’ll also be happy to repeat should the opportunity present itself. I didn’t really see it as sexual, but I put play with friends in a separate category than play with lovers, and separate out the sex from bdsm, because they’re not completely entwined just mostly. I do feel like I’ve seemed distant with both Kyle and Roxy when they’ve tried to engage me and I blame it on my general social awkwardness rather than anything else.
Not long after the beating was over CoyPink arrived with brownies. We all settled down, chatted for a while about various things including me whipping out a bunch of my sex toys because I do quite love talking about them and I really don’t get that much opportunity too, hopefully it didn’t seem like I was bragging or showing off too much, haha.
After not too long we all headed out to the bars, we went to one which was just too loud and a little too crowded. We decided it would be best to go to one where we could actually hear each other and engage in conversation. We all talked about our relationships and poly and all sorts of other things, and we all drank and generally had a great time.
Kyle and CoyPink are rapidly becoming good friends, especially CoyPink who I have been able to see more often (as makes sense, more time together = more familiarity/comfortability/etc.). We should be seeing them both again this Saturday, too, for the Seattle Erotic Art Festival, though I doubt any beatings will occur this time.
Possibly related posts:I’ve been reviewing sex toys for a fair amount of time now. Most of the toys I get aren’t as couples-centric as they sometimes need to be, and some of the ones that require a partner aren’t always used as much as others.
Since we moved out of our D/s dynamic and into whatever it is we do now (still figuring that out on some levels) Onyx has had more and more of a difficult time expressing his needs and wants. Being out of work and unable to find a job didn’t help, neither did my poor behavior as his “submissive.” That, along with the birth control mess-ups I talked about yesterday really impacted our sex life since we moved especially.
I took a little break from reviewing when I moved, mostly for sanity’s sake, but I returned to it with fervor once I got back in the swing of things. We’ve never really talked about sex toys, which is remarkable considering the amount of toys I’ve gotten over the last many months, and the other week we had a discussion about how they have affected our sex life.
In some ways, they’re enhanced it, but in others they’ve taken away. It always takes me longer to come from Onyx’s fingers than it does from a vibrator or my own fingers (though the vibrator usually wins) and we tend to have sex rather late at night when we’re both already tired so there’s limited time. Because we end up wanting it over with somewhat quickly I often finish myself off, usually with his fingers inside me because that’s what I love.
He had been feeling distant from my getting off, like he wasn’t necessary to the process, so he unconsciously started lessening his initiation of getting me off. Because he was getting me off less I was giving him head less, and so we were both denying the other something because of a sense of rejection. We both have big issues with rejection, so this isn’t something new but something we do work on and have been forever.
Part of this also had to do with the amount of toys I have been getting. It’s difficult for most people to view toys as a supplement to sex or a sex enhancer rather than a replacement for, and Onyx was having issues with this as is completely understandable. Problem is we weren’t talking about any of this.
Communication is key, and I know that, I preach that whenever possible, but it’s also extremely difficult which I also get. Neither of us is prone to communication, rather we tend to retreat into ourselves to try to fix problems and often don’t even realize when problems are happening due to our abundance of self-delusion when it comes to issues. It often takes us a few days to even figure out what’s wrong and then a few more days to start talking about it.
Our conversation started with me complaining that he never gets me off any more (though that’s changed since the conversation). We ended up talking about sex toys and the issues mentioned above, and came to the solution that I would show him how to use the toys on me better instead of me doing it. This may seem like a no-brainer, and he had used toys on me before, especially dildos but only sometimes vibrators.
This conversation happened only a few days after we had gotten the Liberator Ramp (click to read my review) and LELO Bo (click to read my review), two toys that are very couples-centric rather than solo-centric. They were part of the catalyst for the conversation, I believe, as I noticed his enjoyment of those two products and wished that he would enjoy other products as much.
This is not to say I don’t use other products on him like lube, dildos, harnesses and such, or we don’t use products together like crops and other BDSM toys, but it’s not the same. He’s never as excited about even the BDSM-centric toys I get in the mail, but he was pretty excited about the Ramp and Bo.
Point is, we talked. We communicated, after a long time of not doing so. Every time we talk about these things it brings us that much closer together, and I like that. Every time we have issues we always talk about them eventually and I think we’re talking about them more and more often rather then bottling them up and stuffing them back inside or ignoring them all together. This is very good.
Our sex since our talk has been better, as well. I feel more connected with him, more intimate, more engaged, all of which is wonderful. I’m sure we’ll continue to change and grow and become more open with each other, but we both have to undo decades of defense system self-training, and Onyx has ten years on me so he’s often a harder nut to crack and all that.
Possibly related posts:My reviewing structure, as outlined in this post is that I post full reviews on my review site Wanton Lotus (RSS) and teaser reviews once a week here. I posting reviews on Wanton Lotus Tues-Weds-Thurs or some combination thereof depending on the amount of reviews I have each week. Fridays are supposed to be my promotion day on here (though I’m a little late this week), so here is the round-up of my reviews for the week!
Liberator Ramp Review Excerpt
…I have been lusting after Liberator products since the first moment I saw them. Sturdy foam shapes that enhance penetration and make sexual positions easier? Um, yes please! The Liberator Ramp has always been at the top of my list (well, after the Esse, but realistically I don’t expect to have the Esse for quite some time, she’s pricey).
When I opened my door to reveal the large box that the Ramp comes in I squealed with delight, quite literally, honestly, Onyx made fun of me for it (and tweeted about it). I wasn’t expecting anything from Liberator that day, in fact I hadn’t even been told that anything had actually been shipped to me from them, so it was a complete surprise! I didn’t even know what was in it, but I was really hoping it was a Ramp…
Read the rest of the review!
Intimate Organics Hydra Lubricant Review Excerpt
…Luckily, there are a small handful of companies who take [things like using bad chemicals in their lubes] into consideration. One such company is Intimate Organics. Not only is it glycerin- and paraben-free, it’s also DEA-free, organic, vegan, and naturally derived. What’s not to love?
Intimate Organics Hydra Lubricant is water-based, so it’s safe to use on any toy type (including silicone), and it does not get sticky. Ever. I have not ever found it to get sticky in the many times I’ve used it, and I don’t believe that it’s makeup allows it to get sticky. This is a huge plus, as sticky lube is just not fun to use at all. I mean, sticky is basically the opposite of what lube should be!
Read the rest of my Intimate Organics Hydra Lubricant Review!
Delight Vibrator Profile
Name: Delight
Materials: Medical-grade Silicone (black) and premium plastic (white).
Manufacturer: Fun Factory
Length: 4″ (insertable) 6″ (total not including handle)
Thickness: 1 3/8″ (diameter) 4 1/4″ (around)
What I love: Absolutely wonderful curve that makes for fantastic g-spot stimulation. Works well for dual clit and g-spot stimulation as well. Gorgeous design, gorgeous colors, body-safe materials!
What I don’t love: The placement of the bump is way way way too close to the end of the toy, wtf?
Rating: 5/5
Watch my video review of the Delight!
Possibly related posts:Inspired by AAG in her post Two Images where she actually quotes an older post from 2005 titled “The Perfect Bedroom” in which she describes all that would make up her perfect bedroom. I thought I would give it a try.
The walls would be a dark royal blue, though part of me wants the bedroom to be scarlet the rest of me says I could paint the living room scarlet so the bedroom would be blue. In one astrology class I took ages ago we did a guided imagery which was an image of our bedroom, basically our ideal bedroom, and mine was a gorgeous dark royal blue. That has been in my head ever since.
The carpet would be “silver” basically a medium dark gray with silver sparkles. The ceiling would be a matching medium dark gray as well, with glow in the dark stars across it in the constellations of the night sky in June (my birthday month). The stars would be fairly visible with the light on, but in the dark they would light up beautifully.
The bed would be a king at least with a black four-postered frame and sheer black curtains but an open top so the night sky could easily be seen. Royal blue satin sheets to match the walls, much like the ones we have now only a different color, silver pillow cases, and a big fluffy black split comforter to wrap up in.
Split comforter meaning, well, exactly what it sounds: the comforter is split down the middle so that each person has a their own blanket, which reduces on stealing in the night. Basically there would be two twin comforters for a king bed (or more depending on how many people were staying there). It works remarkably well, and doesn’t reduce on snuggle/cuddle ability either as stacking of the comforters is easy. This is something common in Norway we found out while we were there last May, both in Onyx’s mother’s house where we stayed a couple nights and in the furnished house his father let us stay in had split comforters on the bed, and I think it’s fabulous.
A mirror would take up quite a bit of the wall to the left of the bed, large enough that I could look over from any point on the bed or just off of the bed and see my (and others’) reflection. On the wall to the right of the bed there would be a small bedside table with a decorative lamp, all black and silver (notice a theme?).
On the wall to the right of the bed, there would be a black vanity table, complete with an oval mirror of course and two gorgeous side mirrors with pretty designs in the black metal. It would have plenty of counter space with all sorts of products on it like make-up and perfume where I could sit and femme up, contemplate my navel, or use my laptop.
To the right of the bed, between the bed and vanity, would be the walk-in closet. Also the same color of blue, with plenty of space for fabulous clothes and dresses, a great shoe rack, and a dresser, all of it sorted and organized impeccably. Yes, my closet is one of the places my mild OCD focuses: all my clothes are sorted by type, length/sleeve, then color.
Against the wall directly across from the foot of the bed would be a large black wardrobe. Not for clothes, obviously, as I have my walk-in closet, but for toys! The top 2/3 of it would have double doors that would open up to show shelves with also impeccably organized lube, dildos, vibrators, and bdsm equipment (from left to right). Mirrors on the inside of the doors. Floggers and cuffs hanging down the right side. Almost anything one could think of. Below the double doors would be a few drawers, including harnesses, larger bdsm equipment like spreader bars, lingerie, etc.
To the left of the wardrobe, across from the walk-in closet, would be the door to the hallway and rest of the house. To the right of the wardrobe would be the door to the bathroom… though that is a whole other post.
There would be a few places to sit, mostly Liberator furniture, all in black: an Esse and Stage combo to the lower left of the bed, Equus and Equus Rest at the foot of the bed, Buckaroo to the lower right of the bed, and an Escape between the mirror and the bed. Of course I’d have all the Liberator Shapes as well, though not out as furniture. I may need some sort of shelving or wardrobe just for them.
Above the vanity would be a poster of Marlene Dietrich (maybe two for some juxtaposition). To either side of the wardrobe there would be posters as well, and one at the head of the bed.
My laptop would be kept on the nightstand for the most part, and could provide music to fit any mood or entertainment while snuggled up in bed. There may or may not be a mini fridge with fruit, water, and ice so that one wouldn’t have to go far for quick nourishment, though the kitchen in this fantasy house would be amazing as well, probably black and silver themed.
And the rest of the house… that’s a different story. I do know that the living room would be all red, black, and leopard print, though, and there would be a play room for our cats with things to climb and chase and pounce on. There would also be a separate dungeon area with large equipment where we could also host parties. Oh, the list goes on…
This also hinges on the idea that in this poly household everyone in the house would have separate bedrooms so they could decorate each of them as they wish and we would all have our own space that we could retreat to when necessary but also have communal spaces like the living rooms, dungeon, temple, library, and probably a communal bedroom with beds taking up an entire wall (probably adjacent to the dungeon). And there’s oh so much more.
Of course, this is all fantasy, a fabulous decadent fantasy but fantasy nonetheless. But some day… who knows what may happen down the line.
Do you have any fantasy ideas about your perfect bedroom?
Possibly related posts:
