Archive for the Category »Musings: Sex Blogging «
Part of my trip to NYC and Washington D.C., continued from The Beginning: New York City. There will be more posts after this as well.
Somehow (after going the wrong way) I made it to the Bolt Bus with my stuff with about 15 minutes to spare before the bus was supposed to be there. I got a little to eat before heading out to the bus only to discover it was the wrong bus. That didn’t matter so much as I met up with Mollena, Essin’ Em, and MayMay before heading onto the bus. Not long after we were met by AvatarKoo and Sascha and the six of us headed on what was affectionately called the Sex Bus!
While there was a lot of chatting there was also a lot of quiet on the five hours that it took for us to go from NYC to D.C. and I got a bit of sleep (I had been kept up late the night before talking with Onyx and Marla). Bolt Bus has power plugs and wifi, which is why we all wanted to take it, but both stopped working halfway through the ride, which was highly annoying. I used that time to sleep, though, and it was no big deal.
Once we got to D.C., Mollena, Essin’ Em, and I took a cab to the hotel and got settled in. We had learned while on the bus that the pool and drinks activity scheduled was canceled as the pool was not open! This was highly disappointing to me as I had been dreaming about swimming for a good while, luckily I was able to that weekend but that’s for later.
The wonderful Domina Doll was gracious enough to let me share her room, and we ended up meeting up in the hotel restaurant before heading up to our room and settling in. We chatted for quite some time while I was tweeting with Carnivalesq and texting with Onyx and Marla.
After getting to know each other offline a little bit Domina and I headed to Carnivalesq’s room to meet her and her boyfriend Ripley both of whom I already knew I was going to like but I immediately loved them! I felt like we all got along very well and was super excited to meet them. The four of us went out to get thai food at a nearby restaurant, then headed to a liquor store and bought wine for the evening/weekend.
We headed back to our respective hotel rooms and Domina and I broke out the wine while chatting some more. I really enjoyed talking with her, and there was a little drama going on with Marla, mostly me feeling bad and worrying, so we talked about that among many other things. I was so glad to have met her and I felt like we hit it off as well, though I knew that was going to happen.
We headed up to the Brownies and Porn event happening in Match’s room and there met lots of other people, I can’t even say who all was there, but that was the first time I met Jay and Ellie and so many other people were there. At the time I was busy worrying about meeting Marla, I had not yet bought our hotel room for the next two nights either, and I was just in anxiety-mode, which made being in a room full of people I didn’t know too well who were also being loud something that I didn’t want to do.
I headed back down to my room, made hotel reservations for the next two nights at a hotel in Alexandria, VA on the other side of D.C. (technically we were in Silver Springs, MD) and called the hotel to make sure their pool was open. It was. Score! Carnivalesq and Ripley came along not too soon after, there was chatting for a bit until they were tired and decided to head back to their room. It was a strange night all around, really.
I ended up staying up super late (read: 5am) talking on the phone with Onyx about my own fears and insecurities regarding meeting Marla, and so I also ended up sleeping until the keynote had already started. Quickly I woke Domina up, showered, got dressed, and headed down to the main floor where the conference was being held. I opted for breakfast instead of the first session but then opted for talking with Marla on the phone instead of breakfast. She was already on her way up to D.C.
The first session I went to (which was actually the second session) was Mollena’s “Flying Your Freak Flag” session, I came in late with Carnivalesq, then Ripley followed not long behind. It was a wonderful session, Mollena is absolutely wonderful and I really was glad that I had chosen to go to hers. There were several wonderful quotes which i couldn’t help but tweet and just generally enjoyed the session immensely. It was basically about the decision to be “out” about being part of a community, how being out can help others around you not just yourself. Every session I participated in seemed to come back to person vs. personae in one way or another, something I definitely want to write about at a later time.
After that session I talked with Marla and Onyx briefly before settling down to actually eat something since I had neglected to do so before. Carnivalesq and Ripley kept me company and Carnivalesq discovered the sugar packets were njoy brand (njoy being also the name of a sex toy company we all lust for). It was highly amusing. Can you tell I clung to them a bit the entire conference?
This entire time, also, Marla was getting closer and closer to D.C. and my excitement for that was building and distracting as I was also enjoying everything else.
I stuck with Carnivalesq and Ripley and updated briefly during Jack Stratton’s session “History of Written Erotica on the Internet” which was highly awesome and included a snippit from a tentacle porn story which was pretty awesome. I tweeted a few choice quotes from that session as well. It talked heavily on the difference between person vs. personae and the ability of having anonymity on the internet but that also evolving into a personae of it’s own. Quite interesting, and for another post.
She was even closer by the time the session started.
We stayed in the same room to participate in Jack Murnighan’s session “Sex Writing Beyond Erotica,” which discussed various types of sex writing and also ended up touching on person vs. personae as well as various other things, such as comfortability in sex writing (”If I’m really comfortable writing this, it probably isn’t going to be interesting” tweet), the ever-evasive (for me) showing vs. telling, and all sorts of other usual suspects when it comes to issues with sex writing/how to write sex/etc. Again, there were many quotable tweets.
That session was also especially amusing because, as I tweeted, I was sitting next to Carnivalesq, one row behind AvatarKoo, two rows behind Ellie Lumpesse, and also across the room from Minx, all of us with our laptops, all of us tweeting. After the session I stepped away from my computer for less than 20 minutes, when I came back there were 60+ tweets under the #Sex20 hashtag on twitter. We were also trending on twitter, meaning so many people were using the hashtag it officially became a trend. Crazy.
The final session I attended was “Revisiting Naked on the InternetAudacia Ray, FurryGirl, Melissa Gira and Amber Rhea. It dealt a lot with the person vs. personae idea again, as well as feminism or not, sex work, and living your life on the internet (kinda similar to person vs. personae also).
After the session I went to the vendor room with Carnivalesq, where Ripley had already bought a necklace from Vera for me! I didn’t know they were going to, and it was so sweet of them! I am currently wearing it, and haven’t actually taken it off since it was given to me, it’s a simple chain held together with a heart-shaped lock kinda like the one on my wrist. I had mentioned liking it earlier in the day. It was so super sweet of them, I’m still kinda floored by it!
Marla was so close I could almost taste her, so I said my goodbyes to Domina Doll (who I barely saw all day), Carnivalesq and Ripley, headed up to the hotel room, packed up my stuff, went downstairs and impatiently waited for her to get to the hotel.
Part of me is sad I didn’t stick around for that night and the next morning, but I had something more important to do. Heaven forbid having sex actually interfere with a conference about sexuality! I really enjoyed all the sessions, and I have a lot more I want to write about each of them but specifically under the topic they raised in me: person vs. personae. In Jack’s Sex 2.0 post he mentions the point of the conference, which I will gratefully steal quote:
“One thing Sex 2.0 seemed to say to me is that we (feminists, sex workers, BDSM, poly community, LGBT, creators of explicit art and media, anyone ostracized, marginalized, disadvantaged or persecuted because of their sexual identity, choice or profession) may be part of different movements, but we have a lot of similar goals and we should come together and learn how to be better allies. We are all fighting first and foremost to have our voices heard, thus it makes sense for us to create forums where all voices can be heard.”
I couldn’t have said it better. It was a wonderful experience and I’m excited for the next Sex 2.0 to be held here in Seattle and further participation in it next year.
Meeting Marla, heading to the hotel, and the rest of the weekend? That will have to come in the next post…
Possibly related posts:
Image by visionlightgallery.com
Even though I don’t know where to start, I have to start somewhere so I figure I will start at the beginning. The entire week was tainted (in a good way) by the fact that I would be able to spend Saturday night, Sunday, and Monday morning with Marla.
I left Seattle a drizzly Tuesday night, cinco de Mayo to be exact, though I hadn’t done anything to celebrate the holiday. I didn’t arrive into New York City until Wednesday morning around 7am even on a nonstop flight (do note the time change as well). Furry Girl was on the same plane as I was, which we had figured out a couple weeks beforehand, and so we ended up chatting and taking the subway partway with each other, which was very nice as I had no idea where I was going.
My sister, Bee, was going to meet me at a subway stop because we were hesitant about me taking the subway alone (though I think meeting her was more confusing than the actual subway trips and switching would have been). I’m happy to say I only got on the wrong train once while in NYC, and I realized such after just one stop. I was pretty proud of myself. Anyway.
After meeting up with Bee we got me to the right place and I promptly took a nap, as I hadn’t really slept much on that overnight direct flight and I had gotten in to NYC at 4am Pacific Time which was not as fun as it sounds. I hope I wasn’t too out of it when meeting Furry Girl for the first time, I felt kind of bad about that actually. Post-nap I went to dinner with Bee and her boyfriend, then headed to The Pleasure Salon to meet up with other NYC bloggers, out-of-towners who had come in pre-Sex 2.0, and Sinclair who I was staying with.
I was so nervous, and I felt very much like the outsider. I really am rather socially awkward and I don’t really know how to insert myself in a conversation, I’m worried at coming off as rude by being unwanted but inserting myself anyway or just taken as rude (though that was accomplished the next night… but we’ll get there).
I met a lot of people that I’ve wanted to meet for a long time, and I know I won’t be able to list them all but I’ll mention as many as possible! The first person who recognized me was Viviane, who came in not long after I did while I was still getting my name tag. Selena Fire made a name tag for me, complete with a lotus which was sweet and I continued once at Sex 2.0.
Mina Meow came in after we had been chatting a little and Viviane introduced us, which was really exciting because, even though we didn’t really talk that much, Mina is someone I’ve wanted to get to know better and meet for a while now, the same with Wendy Blackheart who I met not long after.
A lot of the night, and a lot of the trip for that matter, is a blur of meeting wonderful people! I was very excited to meet Natt Nightly as well, although we have not interacted much (I can say that about most people, really, because I fail at being social most of the time–even on social networks), I’ve always loved his writing, beyond loved, and I felt like he was excited to meet me as well which I was a little surprised at, maybe a lot of that was the shock of not realizing I was coming to NYC until I tweeted about being in NYC. I felt like we hit it off, even though I was awkward and a poor conversationalist at times (most of the time).
It was a pleasure to meet both Diva and Tess who I had a nice conversation with, Essin’ Em though we didn’t really chat much directly, as well as Jack Stratton and Mariella who I got a great impression of and I was slightly surprised that they knew who I was, also because we haven’t really interacted. I think I see them as superior stylistically, writing, and wit-wise so I kind of assume they wouldn’t know me or anything, which is silly because we all follow each other on twitter.
Twitter was definitely a recurring theme of the weekend, especially at Sex 2.0, though any of you who follow me there pretty much know that already. Tangent aside, there were so many people at The Pleasure Salon and I’m sure I’ve not listed them all, the people I listed are mostly people who I interacted the most with. A few hours in Sinclair showed up and after a short amount of socializing we headed home and after Sinclair attempted to make brownies we crashed pretty quickly.
The next day I was determined to take it easy, socializing takes a lot out of me like the introvert I am and I mostly slept and did very little except head to Re/dress a wonderful plus-size vintage and second-hand clothing shop in Brooklyn. I made it there on the subway all by myself, which was pretty great, without even taking a wrong train or getting off at the wrong stop! I bought two gorgeous dresses: a long red halter-top dress that is shorter in the front than in the back which is a little big on me at the top and I need to get let in, and a short black one with bell-sleeves that looks kinda 60s hippy-goth Fleetwood Mac style.
Once back at Sinclair’s apartment for a brief period I changed into my new black dress and we headed out to Audacia Ray’s apartment for dinner with Audacia (obviously), Natt, V, Essin’ Em, Augustin, and Melissa Gira. Although I was my usual taciturn self I managed to make quite an impression and break not one but two things in Audacia’s house, which I am deeply sorry for and ashamed about and will probably continue to be shamed about forever. I do not know how these things occurred, they were definitely accidents but I still feel horrible about them. Ah, first impressions.
Aside from my horrible blunders there was much delicious food, much good conversation (I’m all about listening), and I enjoyed myself even if I was a bit quiet, though that is also a theme of this weekend, along with twitter and most of it being a blur. Although I wasn’t so quiet come Saturday night… but that’s another post.
After the party there was much sleep before having to get up for the Sex Bus (Bolt Bus to D.C.) the next morning! There will be another post on heading to Washington D.C. and Sex 2.0 before getting to the wonderful and sexy things I did with Marla.
Possibly related posts:
Currently updating from “History of Written Erotica on the Internet” (third session) by Jack Stratton. I woke up later than planned after a long night last night, but that’s something else to talk about entirely. Basically I woke up when the keynote was happening and was going to get food during the first session although I just ended up missing it.
I went to Mollena’s “Flying Your Freak Flag” session (second session) which was pretty amazing and hilarious (she wrote about it and Sex 2.0 here), and I have been tweeting massively regarding what has been going on this weekend.
There are two more sessions, and I’ll be live-tweeting throughout, but I wanted to post on here with a little update. Sex 2.0 has simply been wonderful and amazing thus far. I’ve met some brilliant and wonderful people and connected offline with people I’ve already connected to online, such as Carnivalesq, it’s pretty fantastic.
This session has focused on anonymity in addition to erotica itself, but specifically writing erotica and sex blogging and such. It’s something I definitely want to write about, my sort-of anonymity, as I go by Scarlet offline as well as on.
Also, while I am loving Sex 2.0 what I’m really excited about is that Marla is currently on her way driving up here to D.C. We have a hotel room for the next two nights, and are going to be fucking our brains out meeting, connecting, and… well… okay, fucking our brains out!
There will be so much more for me to write about, the last few days in NYC, the sex bus, Sex 2.0, meeting and fucking Marla, then back to NYC… I’m going to be a very busy blogger in the next week!
Possibly related posts:The wonderful luna from BDSM is Love has given me a Sexy Blogger Award (award image below) and had this to say about me:
She makes me proud to be a woman of size. Her thoughts and passions have me transfixed.
I can’t explain how happy reading just that little blurb made me, especially the first sentence. I was both touched and flattered by her sentiment.
Her reasoning behind choosing me is definitely worth more to me than the “award” given in the meme. I’m not huge on awards in general, but I think they can be fun and a great way to give kudos to others and generally highlight others and bring more attention to them, which is great. This meme seems to be going around the blog circles I fit in, and it’s always wonderful to be included.
According to luna there are two rules to receiving this:
“You are to list 5 sexy things about yourself and pass it on to 4 other people.”
I’m not going to deny the opportunity to pass on some nice sentiment to others, and it’s always fun to receive something like this from someone unexpected so here we go. I’m having a very difficult time with the five sexy things, I’m really not that into bragging about myself and that’s what this feels like, but, here we go…
Five sexy things
- Despite the fact that society tells me I shouldn’t be sexy as a woman of considerable girth, I don’t let that stop me from expressing and enjoying my sexuality. This is what made me so elated when part of luna’s reason for choosing me for this was because: “She makes me proud to be a woman of size.” I’ll admit it’s not always easy to be sexually confident in general let alone when society says that you’re not supposed to for various reasons (not just limited to large women, of course), and to know that I make someone, anyone, feel a little better about themselves is incredible.
- I’m open and honest about who I am for the most part. Despite the amount I spill my soul on here I am somewhat guarded about sharing deep feelings or ideas I have to others I don’t know very well, however, I don’t let that guardedness keep me from being as authentically me as I possibly can: a sexual deviant who is open about and comfortable with what she does, and doesn’t try to pretend to be something or someone else. I think that’s sexy, anyway.
- While body mods are all the rage these days I really do think that my eight tattoos and thirty-some-odd piercings really do enhance my body, not only by calling attention to some of the sexiest parts of myself but also because the tattoos and piercings themselves are sexy (or so I like to think). I put a lot of thought and detail to every one of them, and think they also show my comfortability with my body which is also sexy.
- My brain is the sexiest part of me, or so it likes to think (har har). I may overanalyze most times, but I also think that people are more attracted to my intellect than anything else about me (not to say people aren’t attracted to other parts of me too, but I think the brain is the best part of the package).
- My partners: they are both so sexy that I must be sexy too, right? They inspire me and encourage me to be confident in my sexuality, and they fill my heart with such joy it radiates from me which I think is sexy.
My four sexy bloggers
There are SO many sexy bloggers out there it’s not even right to only choose four, but the ones below are the first ones that popped into my head, and a few of the other ones I’d choose have already been awarded this from others. If I had my way I would give one to everyone in the “friends & lovers” section of my links, and probably others that I’ve forgotten to include there as well. The problem with picking just four is there are so many other people left out, but, I’m sticking to the rules of the meme, otherwise it would take me forever to list everyone!
Gabe and Elizabeth – They blog over on Pornocracy and put an extremely sexy video out recently. I feel that may of our values and ideas are very similar, which endears me to them automatically, and in addition to that they are highly sexy individuals and overwhelmingly sexy as a pair!
Not sure if I should count them as one or two, but since it’s a sexy blogger award vs. sexy blog award I think they count as two.
Amber – of Divergent Dance. Another person I feel I have similar ideas with, she is a tomboy femme among other similarities, and I have come to think of her friendship quite fondly. I think she and her writing are both super sexy and am always excited when she has a new post for me to read to get another slice of her life, gender, love, or sexuality.
Marla – Last but certainly not least there’s no way I could leave my long-distance love out of this, for she is incredibly sexy and blogs over at Confessions of Promiscuity. There is no question that I find her extremely sexy, she fits in with Onyx and I so perfectly and just everything about her makes me want to ravage her and make her come over and over until she begs for me to stop… but I digress. She just posted her first piece of erotica inspired by yours truly, so you can read how amazingly sexy she and her ideas are!
Possibly related posts:So many things have been happening in the last week, and I don’t think I will have the time to write about them all individually even though I want to. Since I’ve been bogging you down with worrysome and insecure poly-related posts I’m going to start with an experience outside of the triad: last Friday, when Kyle and Coy Pink came to visit (though this is mostly about Kyle).
Back at the beginning of March Kyle drove up not too far to Seattle to meet us for the first time. He wrote about it here, I failed to write about it even though I had the intention to. I don’t remember why I didn’t write about it, I think I may have been experiencing mad writers block at the time or something, who knows, though his re-counting of the evening is pretty flawless so you should go over and read that first.
Then, Kyle decided to head up here last Friday. When we got together in March CoyPink was unable to make it as she had prior plans and I, like a dolt, had forgotten to ask her to come until a few hours before Kyle was supposed to show up. I’m good like that. Anyway, this time CoyPink was able to come, though not until a little after Kyle was going to arrive. No big deal, we were excited she could join us, though she ended up missing most of the night’s excitement! Not that what happened after she arrived wasn’t exciting, but there was no beating involved… but I’m getting ahead of myself.
Kyle has written about this visit as well, with far more detail to leading up to occurrences than I will probably give, so you should go over and read his post on last Friday, it’s pretty long, but I’ll be here when you get back. Go on. I’ll wait. Honest.
Did you read it? No? What are you waiting for? Seriously.
Well, if you read it you read it, if not you’re missing out. Anyway. Roxy (who, for those of you who don’t know is Kyle’s long-distance love) contacted me on twitter before he arrived and asked if I would be willing to give his package a squeeze and tell him it was from her. I responded that I would not mind doing so in the least, while trying to appear willing but not overly eager. Kyle is a great guy, but I don’t know him that well, so I was a little awkward and kept trying to think of ways to do it in a somewhat subtle manner, of course Roxy didn’t need it to be subtle.
She also informed me that he may be instructed to kneel at our door when first arriving, but didn’t know how evil she was going to be yet. I knew from that it would be a very interesting evening, but I figured Kyle would have to do a few somewhat embarrassing things at her request to begin with, and then we would all just do our thing. I didn’t expect any play or really anything to go beyond a few simple instructions to get a little redness in his cheeks. I was a little wrong.
Kyle ended up arriving late. He let me know he was going to be late beforehand, and I wasn’t surprised (from his tweets I thought he left later than ideal to be right on time, not to mention parking around our apartment is a bitch), though Roxy decided to use that as a reason for his first instruction. He was to ask to kiss our feet to make up for the offense of being late.
I wouldn’t deny him his ability to perform for his Love, so I offered him my bare feet to kiss, and took a couple pictures while he was doing so for him to send to Roxy. He did the same for Onyx, though he donned his boots for Kyle to kiss. When Kyle was done I walked over, slipped my arm around him, and squeezed his packy through his jeans informing him that he wasn’t the only one who Roxy had requested something from and that the squeeze was from Roxy. He seemed a little flustered, which was lovely, and I thought that would be the end of that.
I was putting the last touches on dinner and we all were chatting when she included further instruction, for him to ask us how to further make up being late. Onyx was far more comfortable requesting things at this point than I, as I could put myself more easily in Kyle’s shoes and was trying to figure out the balance between good embarrassing this very new friend of ours and what might be crossing the line. I overanalyze, we all know this by now.
Kyle offered to help serve dinner, Onyx agreed, and so Kyle went about fixing a plate for him and presenting it to him, which Onyx made him do over again with enthusiasm and excitement. I felt badly, as I’ve had to do the same in the past and it’s always really annoying.
We ate, and chatted, and again I thought that was going to be the end of it. Both Onyx and I had remarked to Roxy that Kyle was being very good and fulfilling his duties. I admit I was a bit hesitant, and still am, about commenting too much/too little and I think I ended up on the too little side. In addition to all this, I was also texting with Marla and I knew she was feeling excluded and alone, so I was trying to manage everything all at once which ended up in me being a little more distant perhaps in everything than I meant.
We were having seconds when the next instruction came, “please do offer your ass and beg for a spanking.” I was somewhat surprised, as was Kyle I think, though apparently Onyx wasn’t. Onyx informed Roxy of Kyle’s reaction to the instruction: groaning and tossing his phone on the floor!
Onyx decided that since I rarely get to get out my beating desires, as he is not into pain or me beating him at all, I should be the one to fulfill this instruction. I decided to finish my seconds and send a text to Marla regarding what was going to happen (which I found out later didn’t send) and so Kyle was instructed to kneel on the floor until he was needed.
I was thinking about the best way to do everything, and decided getting out my Liberator Ramp would be a great idea to position Kyle on. It pretty much doesn’t enable the bottom to drop their ass, and means I can get at all the good spots all the time, so I figured it would be a good idea. Onyx got the ramp, Kyle got positioned, and I pulled out most of my impact play toys.
From Kyle’s post: “At first it was kind of weird, I mean, we’ve only hung out once before and now my ass was in the air waiting to be beat. But Scarlet is very good and we got into our rhythm pretty quickly.” I agree, it was a little strange, but once we got into it I think we both had a really good time, as evidenced by the pictures that we took and the happy post-beating stupor that Kyle ended up being in. Kyle and Roxy have praised me multiple times on my beating technique, apparently Kyle has raved about it to her and promised to show it to her when next they meet, so I must not be too bad, right!?
I used just about all of my impact play toys, with the exception of the rose crop and the black rubber whip, you can see the implements below:
From L to R: Black Suede Flogger, Black Rubber Whip, Rose Crop, Cheetah Fur-Lined Paddle, Rabbit Fur and Leather Flogger, Bark and Bite Paddle, Small Red Acrylic Cane, Large Red Acrylic Cane, Wide-Tipped Riding Bat.
There are a lot of great pictures of the beating, but I think this one is my favorite of the ones Kyle posted:
I had a lot of fun, and I know Kyle, Roxy, and Onyx did too. It was a great experience that I’ll also be happy to repeat should the opportunity present itself. I didn’t really see it as sexual, but I put play with friends in a separate category than play with lovers, and separate out the sex from bdsm, because they’re not completely entwined just mostly. I do feel like I’ve seemed distant with both Kyle and Roxy when they’ve tried to engage me and I blame it on my general social awkwardness rather than anything else.
Not long after the beating was over CoyPink arrived with brownies. We all settled down, chatted for a while about various things including me whipping out a bunch of my sex toys because I do quite love talking about them and I really don’t get that much opportunity too, hopefully it didn’t seem like I was bragging or showing off too much, haha.
After not too long we all headed out to the bars, we went to one which was just too loud and a little too crowded. We decided it would be best to go to one where we could actually hear each other and engage in conversation. We all talked about our relationships and poly and all sorts of other things, and we all drank and generally had a great time.
Kyle and CoyPink are rapidly becoming good friends, especially CoyPink who I have been able to see more often (as makes sense, more time together = more familiarity/comfortability/etc.). We should be seeing them both again this Saturday, too, for the Seattle Erotic Art Festival, though I doubt any beatings will occur this time.
Possibly related posts:SexToys.com is having a wonderful contest/giveaway called Ginger Leigh’s Fabulous Shopping Spree which requests that entrants put together a wishlist of items which totals under $1000.
There are many amazing prizes, including the possibility of receiving “all of the toys on the winning entry’s wish list (up to $1,000) delivered free of charge to an eligible winner.”
Read all the info here and enter yourself!
My $1000 Wishlist
- Fun Factory Curve – I lust after this toy, pure and simple. It’s gorgeous, curved just right, and makes me desire to have it. I need to work on my squirting ability and I think this toy could help with that too.
- Feeldoe More – Now that I’ve experienced the Share I also want to try as many similar products as possible and be able to compare/contrast them. I really loved the Share as well, and hope the Feeldoe would be as good or better!
- Cheetah Corsette Harness – Because I love corsets and cheetah print, what’s not to love? I love the way the back of the harness looks, very feminine and sexy, and because of the print I just seriously need it.
- Heart Strap-on Harness – One can never have too many harnesses in my opinion, and this one is so adorable, I fell in love with it the first time I saw it. Cute and heart-shaped, red vinyl, what’s not to love?
- Goliath – If I’m getting some new harnesses I’d definitely have to get some new harness-compatible dildos to go along with them, right? Goliath is nice and large and looks simply delicious!
- Hank – Another harness-compatible dildo, though more realistic than Goliath, just in case I feel like strapping on something more realistic.
- Little Su Natural Dildo – I’d not seen this toy before, but if the positioning of it works the way it says it should I’m definitely interested in trying it out! Plus, it comes in red! Perfect.
- Smart Balls – In magenta and black. Because kegel exercisers are awesome, and I love Fun Factory. Plus, who wouldn’t want stronger orgasms and more control?
- We Vibe – Supposedly a great couples toy and I haven’t had the pleasure of trying it out yet! Definitely a must-have.
- LAYAspot – In silver and black. Again, I love Fun Factory, and I’ve had my eye on the Layaspot for quite some time. It looks like a wonderful vulva stimulator.
- Aneros Maximus – The large size of Aneros prostate stimulators, something my partner and I have been interested in trying out for quite some time. He enjoys prostate stimulation and Aneros is one of the best!
- Aneros Progasm – In black. Similar to above, looks very interesting, and is the largest Aneros toy to date, as says the site. The shape looks fabulous as well.
- Kama Sutra Lover’s Paint Box – Um, sexy chocolate? Yes, please! Sounds like a delicious and sexy way to spend an evening.
- Kama Sutra Oil of Love – In chocolate mint. Goes along with the previous, more chocolate to lick and nibble off of delicate flesh.
- Sweet Celebration Gift Box – On the flip-side, a kit of vanilla flavors to go with or against the chocolate, and I just love the idea of laying out rose petals before a romantic night of exploration and delicious flavors.
- Kama Sutra Honey Dust – Another set of delicious something to lick off of soft skin, this time in dust form that can be sprinkled across and licked up.
- Beginner Ball Gag – First, it’s silicone, no nasty rubber taste or smell, thank you! Also it’s gorgeous red and black, two of my favorite colors. Plus, gags are sexy.
Total = $998.53
I have just a small amount left over, though I don’t know what I would do with it. Maybe buy a bar of chocolate because chocolate and orgasms go hand-in-hand.
(Edit) In all honesty, I’m entering this more for fun than actually expecting to win. For one thing, I never win anything, but in reality I know I have lots of toys and will probably end up getting many of the toys on this wishlist before this contest is over. I really encourage all of you to apply, though, because not only is it fun to surf through a site and pick out toys and see how many you could get for $1000, but also because they have some great prizes.
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I’m so very excited! All the stars have aligned to send me to my very first sex-oriented conference Sex 2.0 which is all about “the intersection of social media, feminism, and sexuality.” I had enough mileage for a plane ticket to New York City where I will be staying with one of my sisters (both of whom live there).
Now I’m sure you’re going “wait, the image above says it’s in D.C. not NYC, what’s going on here?” or you’re not, but I’m going to address that question anyway: it was just way easier to get a flight to NYC than one to D.C. plus it means my trip can be longer than just a couple days so that I can hang out in NYC!
I’m flying over on the red-eye May 5th and arrive in NYC Wednesday May 6th around 7am. Then I have time in NYC until Friday at 10:30 when I’m bussing over with the amazing Mollena, the fabulous Essin’ Em and whoever else makes it onto the Friday NYC to D.C. sexbus! It’s going to be a blast!
Then, the conference, I’ll be staying in a hotel room with Domina Doll who I absolutely love and am very excited to be meeting for the first time! I’m meeting pretty much everyone going for the first time since this is my first conference, so I’m super excited. There will be lots of fun to be had on the 9th (Saturday) but also the night before, Saturday night, and Sunday morning. I’ll be tweeting while at the conference, no doubt, and posting about it once I return as well (or maybe on the bus back as it does have wifi), so look forward to that!
Once the conference stuff slows down I’ll be heading back to NYC on Sunday night to stay with my sister again, then I hope to make my way up to see my lovey Kat (also Kat of Kat and glen who Onyx and I went to England with last May) and Carnivalesq who live not too far away from each other. I’m not sure how or exactly when I’m going to do this yet, but I want to. I fly back home to Seattle on Wednesday.
It’ll be the first time that Onyx and I have really been apart since well before we moved, so it will be interesting in that respect as well. I’m going to have a lot to do so I’ll probably be able to stay busy enough to not think about it too much, but I’m sure we’ll miss each other terribly.
Who else is coming at to Sex 2.0? Any of you in NYC and want to meet up for coffee/drinks/whatnot while I’m there?
More About Sex 2.0
From the website:
Sex 2.0 will focus on the intersection of social media, feminism, and sexuality. How is social media enabling people to learn, grow, and connect sexually? How is sexual expression tied to social activism? Does the concept of transparency online offer new opportunities or present new roadblocks — or both? These questions, and many more, will be addressed within a safe, welcoming, sex-positive space.
You can still get a ticket at the discounted rate of $30 until April 16th, then it goes up to $40. They also may have some scholarships available for those poor folks like me.
For more information:
Sex 2.0 website
Google Group
The Sex 2.0 Google Group is where all the discussion and organizing of the event (and the events before and after) is happening.
For a great compilation of links regarding last year’s Sex 2.0 check out this post on Viviane’s Sex Carnival
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via www.tendrebulle.fr via art or porn
I always know it’s been a good fucking session when I’m fuzzy on the details the next day or, even better, right after.
We’ve been off for a while, uncertain, not fitting right, just not quite working together the way we used to. The sex has always been great, but something has been missing, something important, something fundamental.
I’ve been desiring to be dominated by him recently, for a while now really, but I have a really difficult time expressing that need. I’m not sure how to ask for it. I’m not sure how to initiate being the submissive partner. Logically I know I should be able to say “would you dominate me tonight?” Logically I know this would be well-received and logically I know he would like this, but I’m still afraid to do it, and so I haven’t.
My discovery of switchyness has in some ways hurt our relationship. I have such a dominant personality it’s difficult to tell when I want to be submissive or not, especially since I can’t seem to express that desire to him otherwise. I’m very glad I discovered it and I’m really excited to explore my Top side with Marla (really very excited) but I also know it’s put a question mark in my relationship with Onyx that wasn’t there before.
I had to explore myself a lot in relation to my roles. It’s been nine months since I embraced switch and I’m still exploring what that means.
At first I thought I wanted fixed roles with individuals, never switching within a relationship only outside of them. I went to the opposite extreme of wanting no fixed roles and to just do as we please.
Onyx and I have been trying to have no set roles for a while now, since about October, and it has changed our dynamic hugely. Once upon a time we were actually trying to be in a 24/7 O/cp relationship, at the tail-end of that I started embracing switch, and that’s when the disruptions started happening.
I have a tendency to focus only on a new identity when one crops up, so that I can understand it and work with it before integrating it fully into myself. My doing this with my Domina side or Top side was difficult while being in a relationship with a primarily dominant person, as one can imagine.
My exploring of my Domina side allowed Onyx to realize that he is a switch as well, though basically a Dom/switch, or a Dom who occasionally bottoms who is willing to call himself a switch. This was very good, and I do still love Topping him, but the last few months I wasn’t really getting dominated at all, or very little, and I knew this needed to change.
I think that working on being with Marla has in many ways required us to reevaluate our own relationship and communication. But that’s a whole other post.
I decided to broach the subject of changing our dynamic yet again two nights ago, though I did it kind of late at night and without fully explaining myself. He thought I meant go back to a more structured and somewhat more permanent D/s style, and kind of shot me down in a roundabout way. I was confused at this, but decided to drop it in favor of sleep and bring it up the next day.
Yesterday I brought it up again, this time I explained better, I think, that I wanted us to default into him being Dominant and me being submissive. Primarily I am desiring sexual domination from him, but not only, allowing for the ability of things to move outside bedroom-only D/s if either of us desire.
What I really desire is for us to go back to similar the way we were when we first got together and were long-distance and seeing each other occasionally in the sense of the dynamic we had then. We had this wonderful casually-D/s thing going on that was at once always-present while also not trying to be anything other than it was. It was rather perfect, as far as I remember. He agreed. We know it won’t be exactly the same but it can be similar. The times we weren’t physically together during that period weren’t as great but, that’s a whole other story.
Basically we’ve come full-circle. In a good way. With the addition of all the things we’ve learned along the way.
I do love it when things fall into place.
So, back to the fucking. As a result of the discussion to turning our dynamic back to somewhat more set roles but also having the ability to change them should we desire we had some delicious rough sex last night that incorporated many of my favorite things including breath play, his fingers in my mouth, hair pulling, face slapping, and some orgasm control. It was pretty amazing and most of it is a blur.
We fucked three times last night, which is something we haven’t done in quite some time. He also used my mouth after getting off work today, and daytime sex has become a bit of a rarity in our lives as well. Evidence that this change is already proving to be a great one.
Possibly related posts:This is from the seriously fantastic Wendy Blackheart who always seems to have wonderful ideas that I wish I had first (not that I need another project at the moment, but that’s beside the point). She’s starting a fantastic website which I’m planning on contributing to, and I’m re-posting this in hopes that you might want to contribute to it as well!
From her post:
Possibly related posts:Hello my wonderful friends!
Ok. I’m starting a new project, and I need your help. You being, uh, everyone I’ve sent an email to in the past year who might be interested in this project. If this isn’t welcome, I am sorry.
I’m creating a site called Vaginal Revolution, the location of which will soon be revealed. (Its not quite operational yet. There isn’t anything there) See, I just caught part of a documentary on the BBC about women having vaginal plastic surgery, particularly to reduce the size of their labia. It seems to grow out of a discomfort with what they think of as abnormal anatomy – because they don’t know what vaginas can look like.
Now, I’m not against body modification – I think the changes people willingly and with knowledge make to their bodies are wonderful, and this includes women who decide to modify their genitals in whatever way they choose. What makes me sad, however, is when people decide to modify something as fundamentally beautiful as their vulva because they think its ugly, because they have no one else to talk to.
While I know I’m not the first do try, I want to do my part to demystify our cunts – to share them with the world. We, as sex bloggers, activists and pervs are familiar with a wide variety of beautiful cunts and pussies, and with talking about them, but we’re a small percent of the women in this country who do. So, lets see what we can do to change that!
Back when I was a youngin’, I remember discovering Betty Dodson’s work and website, which I thank for helping me feel good about my genitals – her site had a genital gallery where people sent in photos of their bits to share with the world. I’m sure its still there, and it’s the inspiration for Vaginal Revolution as well – I figure there can’t be too much cunt positivity out in the world!
Basically, I want photos of your vulva. You don’t need to attach your names to them, though I encourage it. I’ll be putting a photo of mine up as well. (I plan to be my flagship cunt. Gotta start somewhere!) But any sort of photo you feel like sharing, please, please do. And while this isn’t geared towards being a wank off site, photos including toys are welcome. Hell, toys, flowers, jewelry, tattoos, piercings, tiny action figures…what ever you want to do! I’d love if you sent a blurb as well – tell me a story, tell me something fun, say whatever you want to say about your genitals, and I’ll put it up there.
Lets celebrate ourselves, our bits, and maybe we can make a little difference.
Please send all photos, comments, all that good stuff to [email protected]. I’d like to keep my regular email from overflowing with vag and make sure I don’t miss anything! :)
Along with a photo, please include: The name, if any you would like to go by, a link to your site, if you have one and want to share, and any stories, anecdotes, comments, etc, that you’d like to share.
If you’re not into showing off your bits on the internet, (and even if you are) please please reblog my request for photos! Send it far and wide!
I’ve been reviewing sex toys for a fair amount of time now. Most of the toys I get aren’t as couples-centric as they sometimes need to be, and some of the ones that require a partner aren’t always used as much as others.
Since we moved out of our D/s dynamic and into whatever it is we do now (still figuring that out on some levels) Onyx has had more and more of a difficult time expressing his needs and wants. Being out of work and unable to find a job didn’t help, neither did my poor behavior as his “submissive.” That, along with the birth control mess-ups I talked about yesterday really impacted our sex life since we moved especially.
I took a little break from reviewing when I moved, mostly for sanity’s sake, but I returned to it with fervor once I got back in the swing of things. We’ve never really talked about sex toys, which is remarkable considering the amount of toys I’ve gotten over the last many months, and the other week we had a discussion about how they have affected our sex life.
In some ways, they’re enhanced it, but in others they’ve taken away. It always takes me longer to come from Onyx’s fingers than it does from a vibrator or my own fingers (though the vibrator usually wins) and we tend to have sex rather late at night when we’re both already tired so there’s limited time. Because we end up wanting it over with somewhat quickly I often finish myself off, usually with his fingers inside me because that’s what I love.
He had been feeling distant from my getting off, like he wasn’t necessary to the process, so he unconsciously started lessening his initiation of getting me off. Because he was getting me off less I was giving him head less, and so we were both denying the other something because of a sense of rejection. We both have big issues with rejection, so this isn’t something new but something we do work on and have been forever.
Part of this also had to do with the amount of toys I have been getting. It’s difficult for most people to view toys as a supplement to sex or a sex enhancer rather than a replacement for, and Onyx was having issues with this as is completely understandable. Problem is we weren’t talking about any of this.
Communication is key, and I know that, I preach that whenever possible, but it’s also extremely difficult which I also get. Neither of us is prone to communication, rather we tend to retreat into ourselves to try to fix problems and often don’t even realize when problems are happening due to our abundance of self-delusion when it comes to issues. It often takes us a few days to even figure out what’s wrong and then a few more days to start talking about it.
Our conversation started with me complaining that he never gets me off any more (though that’s changed since the conversation). We ended up talking about sex toys and the issues mentioned above, and came to the solution that I would show him how to use the toys on me better instead of me doing it. This may seem like a no-brainer, and he had used toys on me before, especially dildos but only sometimes vibrators.
This conversation happened only a few days after we had gotten the Liberator Ramp (click to read my review) and LELO Bo (click to read my review), two toys that are very couples-centric rather than solo-centric. They were part of the catalyst for the conversation, I believe, as I noticed his enjoyment of those two products and wished that he would enjoy other products as much.
This is not to say I don’t use other products on him like lube, dildos, harnesses and such, or we don’t use products together like crops and other BDSM toys, but it’s not the same. He’s never as excited about even the BDSM-centric toys I get in the mail, but he was pretty excited about the Ramp and Bo.
Point is, we talked. We communicated, after a long time of not doing so. Every time we talk about these things it brings us that much closer together, and I like that. Every time we have issues we always talk about them eventually and I think we’re talking about them more and more often rather then bottling them up and stuffing them back inside or ignoring them all together. This is very good.
Our sex since our talk has been better, as well. I feel more connected with him, more intimate, more engaged, all of which is wonderful. I’m sure we’ll continue to change and grow and become more open with each other, but we both have to undo decades of defense system self-training, and Onyx has ten years on me so he’s often a harder nut to crack and all that.
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