Number 156 from The Adipositivity Project
This is the third of many posts with answers to my Size & Sexuality Study questions within them. The responses have not been edited in any way. I hope you find them as interesting and informative as I have. I have gotten a huge number of responses already and I still want more! If you would like to answer these questions you can find more information on The Size & Sexuality Study here.
Nadia West is a mid 30s relatively femme woman who is bisexual and polyamorous with two men currently. She blogs at Diary of a Kinky Librarian and also twitters as Nadia West.
What size is your body?
women’s size 18, taller than average, chubby
How comfortable are you with your body both in general and your body size specifically?
There seems to be two levels of how I look at my body – on one level, I feel fat and I know that socially I’m not considered attractive body-wise. I also should be healthier and in better shape. But on the other level I have no problem being naked at sex parties and whatnot – I’m really comfortable with my body in those situations. I think sexiness isn’t necessarily tied to what your body looks like.
How has your relation with and attitude toward your body and the size of your body changed over time?
I’ve gotten generally more comfortable with it. I rarely get down on myself for being overweight like I used to – I figure I need to either accept it or do something about it. Feeling bad about myself won’t change things.
How important is sexuality to your life?
How has your relation with and attitude toward your sexuality changed over time?
I keep getting more and more comfortable with my sexuality. I think I’m more comfortable seeking out what works for me than I was when I was younger.
How comfortable are you with expressing yourself and your body sexually?
I’m pretty comfortable. Now that’s not to say that sometimes I don’t feel undesired compared to thinner women at swing clubs, but once I’m in a sexual situation I’m really comfortable and not worried about what my body looks like.
How comfortable is society with the idea of viewing your body as sexual?
Society wants to say that I’m fat and flabby and therefore unattractive and not sexual.
Through answering these questions and/or thinking about your relation to your body and your sexuality, have you noticed any links or similarities between the two? If so, what?
Certainly, feeling comfortable with your body will help you feel comfortable with your sexuality and vice versa. Once you accept your body as a source of pleasure it’s hard to hate it so much.