Archive for the Category »In My Life «
It’s always funny how life gets in the way of blogging about life. I have had a dramatic decline in posting since meeting Marla, which is understandable because everything has been going so intense and so fast and I have just had less time to do things like post. I miss it, though. Having weeks where the only things I post are Pleasurists’ and HNT’s kind of makes me sad. While I love doing Pleasurists and posting HNT’s I am definitely itching to post.
Marla moved here on July 5th and it’s been rather crazy and amazing ever since. This is the first time she’s moved far away from her family and has never not been able to see her mother and the rest of her family on a semi-daily basis, that in itself has been difficult. In addition she also had to had emergency surgery only a few days before moving, which has also added to the stress.
The connection between Marla and me is amazing. I can’t really describe how wonderful it is. I’m constantly floating with NRE, and the strong desire and love we have for each other is a big part of the reason why she moved here so quickly.
While Marla and Onyx love each other they hadn’t had nearly as much time to build a relationship with each other than Marla and I had, which has been the largest issue since Marla arrived. It’s been hard on all of us, but the combination of stresses and not knowing how she and Onyx are going to relate has been extremely difficult on Marla. Being in the middle of it all has made me, the one who wants to fix everything immediately, often extremely frustrated as there isn’t a lot I can do to help.
We hit a breaking point a few days ago and we all spent some time apart collecting our thoughts and overanalyzing as we always do. Luckily since then things have been wonderful and the two of them have been closer as well.
Since Marla and I are both not working we have quite a bit of time together on the days Onyx is not working, which is very nice for all that NRE business to get semi out of our systems (for lack of a better term) before he comes home so we can all focus on being together. It’s really quite an odd situation, but we are doing our bests to make it work. The most amazing thing is that despite all the downs we all have amazing ups and even when we were at our lowest we all wanted to be together.
It’s quite a crazy ride, but we’re all getting closer every day, and I really do think that once we all get through this transition period and get past the extremely fast changes that are happening we will all be happy and solid together. We are all willing to put in the work and we all know it’s not going to be easy but it will be worth it.Possibly related posts:
These were taken less than an hour before we all went to the airport last time she was here. A lot has happened since.
I think her latest post sums up quite a lot, and captures the excitement and fear we all are feeling for different reasons on her moving here. She will be here on Saturday the 4th indefinitely.
She is making a wonderful sacrifice for us, leaving her family, friends, and life behind to come up here to Seattle to be with us, to start a new life. It’s not going to be easy, and we’re all apprehensive about what lies ahead while also being extremely excited to be together.
I love them both so amazingly much. Every day brings her closer to us, and every day brings us all closer together in one way or another. We are all realizing past mistakes and committed to correcting them. We are dedicated and committed to each other, and that will get us farther than many.
The thing I’ve heard most from people when telling them about our relationship dynamic is that triads aren’t easy. This is undoubtedly true, though no relationship worth having is going to be easy. Throw in the fact that one partner has been thousands of miles away for the last six months and that just makes it that much more complicated. It hasn’t been easy, but it’s definitely been worth it.
As we creep closer to that wonderful moment when we will all be together again my excitement builds far faster than my fear. I know everything will work out, we’ve been through so much already that we know how committed we all are to the other. Living together will create new unique challenges and issues to work through but we will get through them together and be stronger because of it.Possibly related posts:
I have all these drafts started and so many things I want to write about but it’s funny how things are more difficult to write about when they are going good. While we three have had our ups and downs as of late I’ve been able to process my thoughts and express them to both Marla and Onyx and I usually use this blog for that so the frustration or confusion that usually fuels my blog posts is gone replaced by just a contented happiness, excitement, and knowledge that everything is going to work.
There are plenty of fears, insecurities, and worries to go around, don’t get me wrong, but at the same time I have confidence that we are making the right decisions, growing together, and growing closer as a triad.
If you don’t follow me on twitter you might not know that Marla is moving here. She is moving to Seattle to be with us and share our physical lives and our apartment as she already shares our daily lives and our love. She will be here early July 5th just past midnight (the night of July 4th). Obviously we’ve been talking about her moving here for a while although it definitely seems very sudden but that’s not really a bad thing. Due to her current living situation it’s just best for all involved if she get up here as quickly as possible, which is an ideal situation for me as well because that means she will be here really damn soon!
It’s amazing and wonderful and in so many ways I just can’t believe that it’s really happening, but it is! I’m sure it will feel surreal until a week or two after she’s here and we all realize that she’s not actually going anywhere.
Stay tuned for steamy sex stories and general trilationship and poly musings once I can get to finishing them, but in the meantime I’m leaving you with a song that has been stuck in my head for a few days. It’s monogamy-centric but I think it fits both of my loves, you just have to change “she” to “they” or something like that.
Song starts at 0:19
I can hear her heart beat for a thousand miles
And the heavens open every time she smiles
And when I come to her that’s where I belong
Yet I’m running to her like a rivers song
She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love
She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love
Shes got a fine sense of humor when I’m feeling low down
And when I come to her when the sun goes down
Take away my trouble, take away my grief
Take away my heartache, in the night like a thief
She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love
She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love
Yes I need her in the daytime
Yes I need her in the night
Yes I want to throw my arms around her
Kiss her hug her kiss her hug her tight
And when I’m returning from so far away
She gives me some sweet lovin’ brighten up my day
Yes it makes me righteous, yes it makes me feel whole
Yes it makes me mellow down in to my soul
Chances are I’ll see you
Somewhere in my dreams tonight
You’ll be smiling like the night we met
Chances are I’ll hold you and I’ll offer
All I have”
This is the fifth and final installment from my NYC/DC trip continued from The Beginning: New York City, The (Un)conference: Getting to D.C. & Sex 2.0, The Meeting: Kissing At Red Lights, and The First Night: Getting Down to Business. This is less chronological than the last few and more just what I remember.
We awoke after just a few hours, hungry for each others bodies again, first moving to snuggle before fucking. It was Sunday, which was also Mother’s Day so we both called our mothers and wished them well. I didn’t get ahold of mine right away, but my Dad called and I talked with him. I had mentioned to my parents about meeting Marla prior to our actual meeting and although I had never talked with either about my being polyamorous they were both completely unphased at the idea of me being involved with more than one person. I hadn’t really gone into any other detail.
After our daughterly duties were done I crawled back into the big fluffy white bed with her and we called Onyx, eager to hear his voice. Although he had said the night before that he wasn’t sure if he would be able to hear us fooling around on the phone I decided that he needed to because I knew how much he wanted to. I assumed his hesitance came from fear and potential pain, so I made sure he was included every step of the way.
I started rubbing Marla’s clit and inserted two fingers into her, making her tell Onyx what I was doing each time I changed something, calling her names and getting her hotter, letting him hear us both as I played with her. I soon inserted a third finger, and then a fourth, stretching her deliciously around my fingers, making her beg for more as I opened her up. Onyx was stroking his cock at this point while I was fucking her with my fingers and rubbing her clit with my other hand.
I remember she came like that, but I don’t remember how many times.
My thumb slid into her wet and open cunt so that I could press my hand further inside, all the while curling up and playing with her g-spot and rubbing her clit, driving her mad while Onyx listened and I took pleasure in making her writhe and come. I delighted in the feeling of her spongy slick walls gripping my hand as she got off on me pressing more and more of my hand into her, pulling out and doing it again, over and over, filling her up.
Once she was sated, I believe we listened to Onyx come over the phone as he stroked his cock for his two happily listening partners thousands of miles away. He grunted and groaned and we encouraged him as he got to the edge, asking him to come for us.
Then attentions were turned to me, though I protested a little because I hadn’t completely been able to come despite wanting to and also I was feeling a little insecure about coming with Marla while on the phone with Onyx, I was stupidly thinking that he would prefer to hear her be fucked than me. This way of thinking has since been cleared up, but it was present at the time.
I lay on my back and Marla began rubbing my clit and pressing her fingers into me, doing what I had done to her earlier, fucking me with her fingers while I sat back and took it. I told Onyx what she was doing so that he knew what was going on. I moaned and writhed as she fucked me so wonderfully, and despite my previous inability to I ended up coming while she fucked me with Onyx on the phone. It wasn’t as hard as any of us would have liked, but it definitely was an orgasm.
Onyx declared that he wanted more pictures, so we ended up taking a few for him and chatting until we decided we really needed to order something to eat. We decided on Thai food and after much roundaboutness and much distraction (read: fucking) we ended up getting it a few hours later. Sitting in bed we ate our food, Marla’s first introduction to Thai food, and made makeshift chopsticks out of coffee stirrers.
We lounged, fucked, talked with Onyx, twittered, and played Mafia Wars and My Zoo for the next few hours before as we got in touch with Jay and Ellie who were at Sex 2.0 and were staying a couple extra days after the conference to see the sights and such. We all decided to meet up to go swimming and just generally spend some time with each other.
Once we got more fucking, fooling around, and cuddling out of our system we finally got our suits on and headed to the pool waiting for Jay and Ellie to arrive. We had the desire to have some pool sex, but there was a lifeguard and other people around, but we did sneak in much fondling and groping under the water. Ellie and Jay arrived for the last 20 minutes or so of swimming, then we all headed back to our room to dry off, change, and chat.
After much great conversation about a wide range of topics they left and we were alone again and hungry! We called Onyx, ordered food, snuggled, and again ate it in bed. That night we were too damn tired to fuck again, which was pretty remarkable. We lay in bed cuddling and drifted to sleep in each others’ arms.
The next morning we awoke later than we would have liked, and after cuddling we immediately started packing and getting ready to go. We had to be out of the hotel by 11 but Marla did not have to head back home until about 1pm. I nearly cried while we were packing, knowing that we were going to part. After packing and hurrying out of the hotel we got to her car and headed to the same Thai restaurant we had delivered to us the day before.
We were both filled with sadness that we would have to part so soon and ate our meal sitting next to each other and often holding hands. There were moments tears filled my eyes and I wanted to cry for I was anticipating the missing of her and having to say goodbye.
Once we were finished we made our way to the Bolt Bus and said goodbye in her car. Many tears and hugs and kisses were exchanged, although I teared up I didn’t cry as hard as she did because I wanted to be strong for her and help her with the pain I had been struggling with for hours. It took us quite some time to actually part, preferring to linger in each others’ presence for as long as possible.
I watched her car until she was too far away to see, waving and sending my love with her for her long drive back home. We exchanged texts and calls while she was driving home and I was on the bus back to New York. I had a couple more days in New York after that, but quite literally all I did was sleep and see my sisters, recovering from the amazing weekend and lack of sleep. On Wednesday I made my way to JFK and headed back to Seattle.Possibly related posts:
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So much has been going on lately I again don’t know where to start. I need to finish up my posts on D.C. but now it’s difficult to do that since Marla was just here over the weekend and I have a lot of wonderful stories to tell from that. Being able to be with both of my loves at once was amazing and fulfilling. There have been discoveries since the weekend as well in the few short days that I want to write about also… so much to talk about!
I’m definitely going to have one more post about D.C. with as much as I remember. I think I am going to end up writing things about this past weekend in a much different way, probably out of order and somewhat disjointed, I’ll do a basic write-up without too many details and then just write-ups of specific instances like Marla and I sucking Onyx’s cock together, Marla fingering me at the bus stop, fucking Marla while Onyx fucked me, and so on. Lots of juicy stories to tell!
Also, we’ve started exploring Daddy/boi play in the last couple of days, and a little on Monday before Marla left. It’s been a new adventure and I will be writing about that soon as well. Mostly Marla and myself have played with it, though Onyx and I attempted a bit last night that ended up very different and less Daddy/boi and more just me as a boi if that makes sense. It was very hot, though. Everything’s been very hot.
This is another of those posts-about-posting, which I’m always amused when I write. I’ve got so much to tell! It’s very exciting!Possibly related posts:
Found via The Alexa Collection.
You know when I’m down to my socks it’s time for business
That’s why they’re called business socks ooh”
-”Business Time” – Flight of the Conchords
“There’s nothin’ wrong
With me lovin’ you
Baby, no, no
And givin’ yourself to me can never be wrong
If the love is true”
-Let’s Get It On
(which has a special place in our relationship, as Jack Black’s version of it is all of our ringtones for each other)
There are many aspects of our first time that are a blur, but I remember playing with her breasts quite a bit, licking and sucking on her nipples and flicking them with my fingers.
I remember her bra and shirt being taken off, then going for her cunt beneath her jeans, at which point she protested that she couldn’t get completely naked before I had even taken off anything. I chuckled and told her that wasn’t going to happen, she tried to get her hand under my skirt, I pulled away and continued to molest her until I acquiesced and took off my shirt and bra then slipped out of my skirt as she took her pants off.
Most else after that is a big happy endorphin-rushed blur. I remember when I first slid my hand across her cunt lips, felt her wetness, found her clit beneath my fingers and sunk my fingers into her. I can still see the way she writhed, how her body arched and shook as she came from a stimulation so simple as a thumb on her clit and two fingers inside her.
What amazed me the most was how casual it all felt, how right, how perfect. Nothing felt forced or unnatural, fucking her came as easy to me as breathing, and I wanted to do it as often as I breathed. There was no time with her that I did not want to push her down and enter her, feel her coming beneath me as I kissed her or played with her nipples.
Once I had fucked her and made her come a few times, she excitedly rolled me over and got out her Pure Wand so she could introduce me to it. All I can say is: holy fuck. I knew I needed a Pure Wand but I didn’t know how much I NEEDED a Pure Wand. It was both hot and amusing because the six steel rings through my inner labia kept jingling against the steel of the Pure Wand and she either started singing Jingle Bells or just alluded to it. See what I mean about comfortable?
I was having a hard time coming, which often happens to me. This was extremely frustrating for us both. I have since postulated that the more aroused I am the more difficult it is for me to come, which seems counter-intuitive but somehow seems to also be true. I take not being able to come as simply a sign that I was way too aroused for my own body to handle.
My inability to come combined with my intense desire to fuck her and make her come at any given time ended up meaning that she didn’t fuck me as much as I fucked her. I didn’t mind as much as she did, though, because I was mostly frustrated at my body and much preferred to spend my time exploring hers. This wasn’t really fair to her but I have promised she will have the chance to make it up to me this coming weekend.
Once we fucked sufficiently and were coming down we called Onyx immediately to see how he was doing and check in. He mentioned he wasn’t sure if he would be able to handle hearing us on the phone with each other, but there was much talking, many professions of love, and many Facebook games played (we are all addicted to Mafia Wars and My Zoo and couldn’t resist playing them during breaks in fucking).
We both had our Big Foot storage bags with us and we dumped them out on the bed, effectively covering half the bed with sex toys! While we didn’t use all of them we certainly got a lot of mileage out of most of them.
As Marla said in her post, “while time seemed to stop, my stomach did not,” once we could tear ourselves away from both fucking and talking with Onyx long enough to figure out what we wanted to eat it was already past 11 and most places were closed for delivery. Room service was out of the question due to expense so we ended up ordering a pizza, the only thing we could find so late for delivery, and after burning up many calories the best way possible and having not eaten since noon for me and earlier for her it was possibly the most delicious pizza I have had in quite some time.
We talked with Onyx again after pizza and got super tired, deciding that sleep was in order. We snuggled, eskimo kissed (which I do a lot and love to do), caressed, and eventually I started rubbing her cunt again until she came. I just couldn’t take my hands off of her!
At some point the blindfold came out and she instructed me to lay back because we were going to play a game: Guess That Dildo! It was quite fun, actually, though I still couldn’t come. She fucked me with dildo after dildo while she rubbed my clit, I rubbed my clit, I used Gigi on my clit, and while I was feeling it and definitely aroused it just didn’t happen. Needless to say we were both disappointed and frustrated.
The game did lead to me exclaiming “my cunt reads dildos like braille!” Which I was highly amused at saying, as I guessed every toy correctly except for Ella simply because I forgot that she had brought Ella with her. I think I fucked her again at this point, because if I wasn’t able to come at least one of us should, dammit! After that we turned off the lights, snuggled up, and joked and eskimo kissed our way to sleep.
Just as she said in her post, because I can’t think of a better way to say it: “Waking up next to her the next morning was the closest thing to perfection I have ever felt. Sunday is another post, for another day.”Possibly related posts:
Found via The Alexa Collection, photographer unknown.
“I remember clearly how you looked
The night we met
I recall your laughter and your smile
I remember how you made me
Feel so at ease
I remember all your grace and style
And now you’re all I wanna see”
She already wrote about it a few weeks ago and said she wouldn’t write the second installment of her version of it until I got mine out, which gave me the push I needed. It’s not that I didn’t or don’t want to write about the amazing time we had together it’s just kind of painful to rehash all those memories because I miss her so much. However, she is going to be here on Friday so I really need to write up our time together before I see her again! Or so I think.
Like I said near the end of the last post…
I had been reading and responding to her tweets and texts of her getting closer and closer and knew she would arrive around 5:40 or so. Once the last session was over I said my goodbyes and zoomed up to my room to pack everything up. As I was packing she called me informing me of how close she was (her TomTom said less than a mile at that point, I think!) and suggested I pack things up, though I was already a step ahead of her. Once I was finished packing I went downstairs and waited for what felt like ages for her to show up.
Butterflies were overwhelming. I had asked her earlier what color her car was so every time a gold car passed by I would look to see if she was in it. I was so excited and so nervous I wasn’t even sure what to do when she got there! She drove up and parked in the little hotel pick-up/drop-off area in front of where I was standing, jumped out of the car and came rushing over to me.
I was grinning like an idiot at this point, I’m sure, and she threw her arms around me and tacklehugged me so fiercely I stumbled a little and thought I might actually fall over. This woke me up a bit out of my stupor and then we were kissing, and somehow we got to the car and put my stuff in after kissing more and me sliding my hand into her hair and tugging. She made the most wonderful sounds as I pulled her hair, which would continue through the weekend. I knew that we both were extremely nervous but that this was going to be amazing.
We started on our journey through D.C. to Virginia and our hotel. I had to tweet about meeting her and she did so too while we were making our way to the hotel. We quickly called Onyx so he could take part in our meeting and we all remarked on how strange it was for the situation to be reversed! We all were so used to Onyx and me on the phone with Marla and not Marla and me on the phone with Onyx.
After much conversation with Onyx, passing the Washington Monument on our way to Alexandria, VA, and a few failed attempts to kiss at red lights (damn seatbelt kept getting in my way) we made it to the hotel, did the check-in stuff, parked, and went up to the room. We had swimming, as well as food, and getting to know each other biblically *ahem* on the agenda but it took us a while to get to the first two.
I could tell when we got into the room that she was as nervous as I was, we set our stuff down and got comfortable, I plugged my computer in so we could look up restaurants in the area and whatever else two net-addicted people need to do. She was on her stomach and I sat beside her and began rubbing her shoulders, we were talking about… something, I don’t remember, probably her drive and if/when she had eaten. I leaned down and bit her shoulder, and things progressed from there…Possibly related posts:
Part of my trip to NYC and Washington D.C., continued from The Beginning: New York City. There will be more posts after this as well.
Somehow (after going the wrong way) I made it to the Bolt Bus with my stuff with about 15 minutes to spare before the bus was supposed to be there. I got a little to eat before heading out to the bus only to discover it was the wrong bus. That didn’t matter so much as I met up with Mollena, Essin’ Em, and MayMay before heading onto the bus. Not long after we were met by AvatarKoo and Sascha and the six of us headed on what was affectionately called the Sex Bus!
While there was a lot of chatting there was also a lot of quiet on the five hours that it took for us to go from NYC to D.C. and I got a bit of sleep (I had been kept up late the night before talking with Onyx and Marla). Bolt Bus has power plugs and wifi, which is why we all wanted to take it, but both stopped working halfway through the ride, which was highly annoying. I used that time to sleep, though, and it was no big deal.
Once we got to D.C., Mollena, Essin’ Em, and I took a cab to the hotel and got settled in. We had learned while on the bus that the pool and drinks activity scheduled was canceled as the pool was not open! This was highly disappointing to me as I had been dreaming about swimming for a good while, luckily I was able to that weekend but that’s for later.
The wonderful Domina Doll was gracious enough to let me share her room, and we ended up meeting up in the hotel restaurant before heading up to our room and settling in. We chatted for quite some time while I was tweeting with Carnivalesq and texting with Onyx and Marla.
After getting to know each other offline a little bit Domina and I headed to Carnivalesq’s room to meet her and her boyfriend Ripley both of whom I already knew I was going to like but I immediately loved them! I felt like we all got along very well and was super excited to meet them. The four of us went out to get thai food at a nearby restaurant, then headed to a liquor store and bought wine for the evening/weekend.
We headed back to our respective hotel rooms and Domina and I broke out the wine while chatting some more. I really enjoyed talking with her, and there was a little drama going on with Marla, mostly me feeling bad and worrying, so we talked about that among many other things. I was so glad to have met her and I felt like we hit it off as well, though I knew that was going to happen.
We headed up to the Brownies and Porn event happening in Match’s room and there met lots of other people, I can’t even say who all was there, but that was the first time I met Jay and Ellie and so many other people were there. At the time I was busy worrying about meeting Marla, I had not yet bought our hotel room for the next two nights either, and I was just in anxiety-mode, which made being in a room full of people I didn’t know too well who were also being loud something that I didn’t want to do.
I headed back down to my room, made hotel reservations for the next two nights at a hotel in Alexandria, VA on the other side of D.C. (technically we were in Silver Springs, MD) and called the hotel to make sure their pool was open. It was. Score! Carnivalesq and Ripley came along not too soon after, there was chatting for a bit until they were tired and decided to head back to their room. It was a strange night all around, really.
I ended up staying up super late (read: 5am) talking on the phone with Onyx about my own fears and insecurities regarding meeting Marla, and so I also ended up sleeping until the keynote had already started. Quickly I woke Domina up, showered, got dressed, and headed down to the main floor where the conference was being held. I opted for breakfast instead of the first session but then opted for talking with Marla on the phone instead of breakfast. She was already on her way up to D.C.
The first session I went to (which was actually the second session) was Mollena’s “Flying Your Freak Flag” session, I came in late with Carnivalesq, then Ripley followed not long behind. It was a wonderful session, Mollena is absolutely wonderful and I really was glad that I had chosen to go to hers. There were several wonderful quotes which i couldn’t help but tweet and just generally enjoyed the session immensely. It was basically about the decision to be “out” about being part of a community, how being out can help others around you not just yourself. Every session I participated in seemed to come back to person vs. personae in one way or another, something I definitely want to write about at a later time.
After that session I talked with Marla and Onyx briefly before settling down to actually eat something since I had neglected to do so before. Carnivalesq and Ripley kept me company and Carnivalesq discovered the sugar packets were njoy brand (njoy being also the name of a sex toy company we all lust for). It was highly amusing. Can you tell I clung to them a bit the entire conference?
This entire time, also, Marla was getting closer and closer to D.C. and my excitement for that was building and distracting as I was also enjoying everything else.
I stuck with Carnivalesq and Ripley and updated briefly during Jack Stratton’s session “History of Written Erotica on the Internet” which was highly awesome and included a snippit from a tentacle porn story which was pretty awesome. I tweeted a few choice quotes from that session as well. It talked heavily on the difference between person vs. personae and the ability of having anonymity on the internet but that also evolving into a personae of it’s own. Quite interesting, and for another post.
She was even closer by the time the session started.
We stayed in the same room to participate in Jack Murnighan’s session “Sex Writing Beyond Erotica,” which discussed various types of sex writing and also ended up touching on person vs. personae as well as various other things, such as comfortability in sex writing (”If I’m really comfortable writing this, it probably isn’t going to be interesting” tweet), the ever-evasive (for me) showing vs. telling, and all sorts of other usual suspects when it comes to issues with sex writing/how to write sex/etc. Again, there were many quotable tweets.
That session was also especially amusing because, as I tweeted, I was sitting next to Carnivalesq, one row behind AvatarKoo, two rows behind Ellie Lumpesse, and also across the room from Minx, all of us with our laptops, all of us tweeting. After the session I stepped away from my computer for less than 20 minutes, when I came back there were 60+ tweets under the #Sex20 hashtag on twitter. We were also trending on twitter, meaning so many people were using the hashtag it officially became a trend. Crazy.
The final session I attended was “Revisiting Naked on the InternetAudacia Ray, FurryGirl, Melissa Gira and Amber Rhea. It dealt a lot with the person vs. personae idea again, as well as feminism or not, sex work, and living your life on the internet (kinda similar to person vs. personae also).
After the session I went to the vendor room with Carnivalesq, where Ripley had already bought a necklace from Vera for me! I didn’t know they were going to, and it was so sweet of them! I am currently wearing it, and haven’t actually taken it off since it was given to me, it’s a simple chain held together with a heart-shaped lock kinda like the one on my wrist. I had mentioned liking it earlier in the day. It was so super sweet of them, I’m still kinda floored by it!
Marla was so close I could almost taste her, so I said my goodbyes to Domina Doll (who I barely saw all day), Carnivalesq and Ripley, headed up to the hotel room, packed up my stuff, went downstairs and impatiently waited for her to get to the hotel.
Part of me is sad I didn’t stick around for that night and the next morning, but I had something more important to do. Heaven forbid having sex actually interfere with a conference about sexuality! I really enjoyed all the sessions, and I have a lot more I want to write about each of them but specifically under the topic they raised in me: person vs. personae. In Jack’s Sex 2.0 post he mentions the point of the conference, which I will gratefully
“One thing Sex 2.0 seemed to say to me is that we (feminists, sex workers, BDSM, poly community, LGBT, creators of explicit art and media, anyone ostracized, marginalized, disadvantaged or persecuted because of their sexual identity, choice or profession) may be part of different movements, but we have a lot of similar goals and we should come together and learn how to be better allies. We are all fighting first and foremost to have our voices heard, thus it makes sense for us to create forums where all voices can be heard.”
I couldn’t have said it better. It was a wonderful experience and I’m excited for the next Sex 2.0 to be held here in Seattle and further participation in it next year.
Meeting Marla, heading to the hotel, and the rest of the weekend? That will have to come in the next post…Possibly related posts:
Image by visionlightgallery.com
Even though I don’t know where to start, I have to start somewhere so I figure I will start at the beginning. The entire week was tainted (in a good way) by the fact that I would be able to spend Saturday night, Sunday, and Monday morning with Marla.
I left Seattle a drizzly Tuesday night, cinco de Mayo to be exact, though I hadn’t done anything to celebrate the holiday. I didn’t arrive into New York City until Wednesday morning around 7am even on a nonstop flight (do note the time change as well). Furry Girl was on the same plane as I was, which we had figured out a couple weeks beforehand, and so we ended up chatting and taking the subway partway with each other, which was very nice as I had no idea where I was going.
My sister, Bee, was going to meet me at a subway stop because we were hesitant about me taking the subway alone (though I think meeting her was more confusing than the actual subway trips and switching would have been). I’m happy to say I only got on the wrong train once while in NYC, and I realized such after just one stop. I was pretty proud of myself. Anyway.
After meeting up with Bee we got me to the right place and I promptly took a nap, as I hadn’t really slept much on that overnight direct flight and I had gotten in to NYC at 4am Pacific Time which was not as fun as it sounds. I hope I wasn’t too out of it when meeting Furry Girl for the first time, I felt kind of bad about that actually. Post-nap I went to dinner with Bee and her boyfriend, then headed to The Pleasure Salon to meet up with other NYC bloggers, out-of-towners who had come in pre-Sex 2.0, and Sinclair who I was staying with.
I was so nervous, and I felt very much like the outsider. I really am rather socially awkward and I don’t really know how to insert myself in a conversation, I’m worried at coming off as rude by being unwanted but inserting myself anyway or just taken as rude (though that was accomplished the next night… but we’ll get there).
I met a lot of people that I’ve wanted to meet for a long time, and I know I won’t be able to list them all but I’ll mention as many as possible! The first person who recognized me was Viviane, who came in not long after I did while I was still getting my name tag. Selena Fire made a name tag for me, complete with a lotus which was sweet and I continued once at Sex 2.0.
Mina Meow came in after we had been chatting a little and Viviane introduced us, which was really exciting because, even though we didn’t really talk that much, Mina is someone I’ve wanted to get to know better and meet for a while now, the same with Wendy Blackheart who I met not long after.
A lot of the night, and a lot of the trip for that matter, is a blur of meeting wonderful people! I was very excited to meet Natt Nightly as well, although we have not interacted much (I can say that about most people, really, because I fail at being social most of the time–even on social networks), I’ve always loved his writing, beyond loved, and I felt like he was excited to meet me as well which I was a little surprised at, maybe a lot of that was the shock of not realizing I was coming to NYC until I tweeted about being in NYC. I felt like we hit it off, even though I was awkward and a poor conversationalist at times (most of the time).
It was a pleasure to meet both Diva and Tess who I had a nice conversation with, Essin’ Em though we didn’t really chat much directly, as well as Jack Stratton and Mariella who I got a great impression of and I was slightly surprised that they knew who I was, also because we haven’t really interacted. I think I see them as superior stylistically, writing, and wit-wise so I kind of assume they wouldn’t know me or anything, which is silly because we all follow each other on twitter.
Twitter was definitely a recurring theme of the weekend, especially at Sex 2.0, though any of you who follow me there pretty much know that already. Tangent aside, there were so many people at The Pleasure Salon and I’m sure I’ve not listed them all, the people I listed are mostly people who I interacted the most with. A few hours in Sinclair showed up and after a short amount of socializing we headed home and after Sinclair attempted to make brownies we crashed pretty quickly.
The next day I was determined to take it easy, socializing takes a lot out of me like the introvert I am and I mostly slept and did very little except head to Re/dress a wonderful plus-size vintage and second-hand clothing shop in Brooklyn. I made it there on the subway all by myself, which was pretty great, without even taking a wrong train or getting off at the wrong stop! I bought two gorgeous dresses: a long red halter-top dress that is shorter in the front than in the back which is a little big on me at the top and I need to get let in, and a short black one with bell-sleeves that looks kinda 60s hippy-goth Fleetwood Mac style.
Once back at Sinclair’s apartment for a brief period I changed into my new black dress and we headed out to Audacia Ray’s apartment for dinner with Audacia (obviously), Natt, V, Essin’ Em, Augustin, and Melissa Gira. Although I was my usual taciturn self I managed to make quite an impression and break not one but two things in Audacia’s house, which I am deeply sorry for and ashamed about and will probably continue to be shamed about forever. I do not know how these things occurred, they were definitely accidents but I still feel horrible about them. Ah, first impressions.
Aside from my horrible blunders there was much delicious food, much good conversation (I’m all about listening), and I enjoyed myself even if I was a bit quiet, though that is also a theme of this weekend, along with twitter and most of it being a blur. Although I wasn’t so quiet come Saturday night… but that’s another post.
After the party there was much sleep before having to get up for the Sex Bus (Bolt Bus to D.C.) the next morning! There will be another post on heading to Washington D.C. and Sex 2.0 before getting to the wonderful and sexy things I did with Marla.Possibly related posts:
It’s rare for me to be at such a loss for words. When something wonderful is happening the words often spill out of me, when something horrible is happening they come even easier, part of why I love the first two lines of Detroit Annie, Hitchhiking so much, because I identify with them: Her words pour out as if her throat were a broken / artery and her mind were cut-glass, carelessly handled.
I don’t write eloquently, but I write from my heart, I spill my mind and blood onto the page because I am unable to do anything else, because that is what I need to do in order to figure out what is going on in my brain, and because it’s necessary. However, there has been so much going on the last few weeks that I am having a difficult time starting. I’m at a loss for words.
I feel I should start at the beginning, but I think I will start anywhere and just let that broken artery spill freely onto my blog again, or maybe write up the posts in whatever order they arrive and then publish them in the correct order: Sex 2.0, meeting Marla, leaving Marla, what has happened since I’ve been home.
There is just so much to write and I’m not sure how to just do it. But I’ll do it, because I need to get it out of me.Possibly related posts: