Casual Sexuality

Since I’ve been back from Juneau my number of sex partners has increased by four. This may not seem like a lot, but it’s about a thirty-three percent increase from my previous number (assuming I’m doing my math correctly). The small amount of casual sex I had before Onyx and I got together was minimal [...]

July 6th, 2010 by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
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Self-Consciousness

I used to think I was an exhibitionist. I still do think that to a point, but lately I’ve been so reserved and worried about the way others perceive me I can hardly call myself an exhibitionist. I’m more self-conscious now than I have ever been before in my life. I’m less outrageous, trying to [...]

April 30th, 2010 by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
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Reflections and Refractions

Of all the pain and disaster of everything that has happened there have at least been some good things. I have learned a lot, both about myself and about what I desire in another person. When forced to make a choice between Marla and Onyx I chose neither, and through that choice learned who was [...]

January 18th, 2010 by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
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Protected: More Honesty

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January 18th, 2010 by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
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Home Sweet Heartache

Taken by me winter of 2007 Everything is worse in the single digit hours when she should be sleeping but her brain won’t turn off. She instead reminds herself of how frost crystals can look like diamonds shining in streetlights and marvels at how many stars she can see when there are no lights. She [...]

December 14th, 2009 by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
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Rights and Responsibilities

I had never broken up with someone before, but now I’ve essentially had to do it twice in the span of a week or so. I feel like I don’t have the right to mourn or be sad because I was the one who said it’s over. In reality I know that is nonsense, I [...]

December 11th, 2009 by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
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Leave Your Life-Stock Alone*

Fall seems to be the time for starting new projects–there have been A LOT of blogiversaries in the last month plus–and generally of taking stock of one’s life. Perhaps this is because we are coming inside from the crazyness that is summer and all the fun that goes along with that and need to focus [...]

November 10th, 2009 by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
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