Self-Consciousness

I used to think I was an exhibitionist. I still do think that to a point, but lately I’ve been so reserved and worried about the way others perceive me I can hardly call myself an exhibitionist. I’m more self-conscious now than I have ever been before in my life. I’m less outrageous, trying to [...]

April 30th, 2010 by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
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Making Open Relationships Work

On Sunday after the rest of our weekend fun Onyx and I walked to Babeland here in Seattle for a workshop by Tristan Taormino. She called it Poly 201, basically the next level of information after her book Opening Up. She talked about what does and does not make poly/non-monogamy work and started with a [...]

April 14th, 2010 by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
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Spiraling Forward

Well, I’m officially moving back to Seattle. I have a one-way ticket for March 17th. This seemed like an impossibility at the end of November, the end of the triad, and part of me is surprised at the way things turned out, yet I’m also not surprised. I still feel guilty for the way things [...]

February 24th, 2010 by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
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Civil War

I feel as though I have warring factions within me, aching for battle and unsure of what to do, trying to figure out who comes out on top, but there is no “on top” to come out onto, not that I would have it if there were. In a world of innumerable options I can [...]

February 5th, 2010 by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
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Protected: More Honesty

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January 18th, 2010 by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
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If I Was Really Honest with Myself…

…what would I say? This question has been running through my head over and over since everything happened in November. I’m still processing everything, but life must go on in the meantime as much as I want to pause it and analyze and figure things out before continuing I, unfortunately, do not have the ability [...]

January 8th, 2010 by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
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